On the road!

Hey everybody~

I am writing to you from my uber-comfortable bed at the Comfort Inn in Lancaster, CA. We have almost all of today off, which is good, since the past three days we have spent driving over 10 hours each day.

Recap: On Sunday morning I was up at 6:15am. We loaded out at the house where we were living in Omaha and met at the Rose Theatre at 7:45am. We then drove to Denver...when we crossed into Colorado we were stopped at a weigh in station and we found out that our truck drivers were missing a key piece of paper enabling them to drive the truck. We were stopped waiting for them for two hours. AWESOME! But I felt much better after seeing Kim and Dave (step-momma's sister and bro-in-law) at Bar Louis. We had Bloody Mary's and watched the end of the Saints-Vikings game. It was nice. I wished I had more time with them in Denver. Then I crashed hardcore.

On Monday morning we loaded up at 8:45am and began driving through the Rocky Mountains. It was BEAUTIFUL! I am posting pics in a sec.

We stopped for Chinese food in Newcastle, CO for lunch. The waiter/owner was adorable and hilarious. Example: I said to him, "This food is really good." His reply, "Yes, it is very good." He then refused to take a picture with my castmates and said "Maybe next time when we aren't so busy." There were five people in the restaurant.

Everything was going smoothly until we crossed into Utah and the truck stopped at another weigh station. It turns out that one of my castmates, Al, had not filled in his log book correctly. So we stopped to wait for them for another hour and a half at a scenic vista spot right across the Utah border. Pics of this area forthwith. We all needed to pee. Luckily they had a bathroom, aka hole in the ground. LITERALLY. It was a hole that went down about 10 feet into the earth. GROSS.

When we were finally able to resume driving after lots of yelling and threats to cancel our tour from our company manager we were trying to make it to Richfield, UT. It was dark, mountainous and treacherous. One of my castmates insisted on stopping again to use the facilities (I believe the exact quote was: "We have to stop. I'm already prairie-dogging.")

We finally made it and we all needed a drink. BAD. So we asked around and used our GPS (which I love, a Garmin, everyone should get one) and discovered a place called Detour which had food and a full bar. After our technical director and truck driver, who had to drive all day because the other truck driver hadn't filled out his paperwork, showered, we left for the restaurant. We found it. It was terrifying. The word dive doesn't really cover it. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot people began saying that if it was smoky they would not be staying. Great. So I volunteered to go in and find out if it was smoky and if so, get a recommendation for another place.

So I go in. It is not only smoky but scary. Lots of tattooed people leering at me, with the most memorable being a scary lesbian woman with an enormous neck tattoo and an angry sneer on her face. So I'm standing by the bar waiting and waiting for someone to help me. Finally a bartender approaches. I say: "Hi. I have some super hungry and thirsty people who are picky and really want a place with no smoking. Do you know of anywhere we could go?" Her reply: "Well, technically we aren't supposed to be smoking in here, so I can go around and make everyone stop right now." I quickly glance at all the already hostile faces and assure her that won't be necessary. She then says that there are two options. The chinese restaurant and the wings place both serve beer. Ok. She keeps talking to me and I keep edging my way towards the door repeatedly assuring her that she did not need to make everyone stop smoking so we could eat there. Finally I exited and we made it to the wings place. The food was decent, the beer was only available to those ordering food and wanting to pay $5.00 for one yucky glass. So naturally, I ordered one.

All of these experiences led me to this conclusion: Utah sucks. It really does. It's desolate and weird and full of Mormons. I can't say that I actually had any experiences with any Mormons...but I know they were there with their judging eyes and multiple wives. And I didn't like it. The happiest part of Utah was seeing it in my rear view mirror as we drove away from it.

The next morning we slept in and left at 10am, California bound. Our route took us briefly through the Arizona desert. Gorgeous and awe-inspiring.

And then through Vegas around lunch. Never been to Vegas, neither had many of my fellow tour-mates so we decided after much discussion to partake of the cheap and exciting lunch buffet at Circus, Circus after a drive down the strip.

Vegas is awesome and overwhelming. We saw tons of fighter jets doing their training and that was cool. We saw the old strip and the trashiness and that was fun. Then we hit the strip. WOW. The Bellagio, the Mirage, Treasure Island, Mandalay Bay, Paris, etc. It was so cool to see all those places that you see in movies.

After lunch in Circus, Circus, typical buffet-style, but cool. We decided to gamble a bit and walk the strip. Anthony, our gay bear and amazing tour-mate, had been to Vegas a bunch and is a seasoned gambler, so he gave us some pointers. I spent $6 on a Monopoly slot machine and lost it all in about 4 minutes. I was going to be done, but I found video poker and Anthony and I decided to spend $10 MAX and play for a bit. I only had a $20, so I put it in and decided to cash out after losing $10.

Anthony showed me the smart way to play: for 5 cents and maximum bet each time. I had a few wins, a few losses and then the BEST: I hit four of a kind!!!! I couldn't believe it. I ended up with $50.25! I almost doubled my money. I never win anything. A happy dance and cashing out were in order.

Walking the Strip made me feel like I wasn't going to get to do anything that I saw and made me want to come back to Vegas immediately. I did get to go to Margaritaville and buy my folks some koozies and have a margarita...natch. So it wasn't a total wash and I got to see stuff and take pictures and realize how much I have been missing out on all these years.

Then we started the LOOOOOOOONG 3 and a half hour drive to Lancaster. It seemed to take forever. I slept on and off and listened to music and sang with Anthony in the back seat. It was rainy. FIIIINALLLLLY we made it to the nice hotel. Everyone who had been to Cali insisted that In-N-Out Burger was the only option for dinner.

So we got ready and waited for the truck drivers to arrive. We arranged for them to park in the corner of the lot alone. They got in and we directed them to the parking lot. Al let Fries pull it in and got out to 'help'. Basically he got directly behind the truck and started directing it to back in. He started out with a calm backing gesture but as the truck continued to back and Al ended up completely flat against a brick wall it turned to a panicked arm flail. The four van riders were all standing in one spot looking on. Our responses to this situation were some variance of this: "stop. Stop. STOP STOP HOLY GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I couldn't say words. I tried but all that came out was "AAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!" Fries opened the truck door looking like an angry muppet with a bright purple face and yelled: "HEY! Yelling does not help anything!" Everyone was really tense and scared. Al maintained that the van was REALLY far from him and he was never in danger.

At dinner, we asked Fries what happened. In turn, he asked us where Al was. We said directly behind the truck. He said he had NO idea that he was back there. We then asked him what made him stop. He replied the screaming banshees saying "NOOOOOOO!" So in reality, our nonsensical screaming saved a life. So just remember that the next time, ok?

In-N-Out was decent, but it didn't change my life like I was expecting. I think I was really tired and ready for bed. I slept really hard last night and woke up ready to blog and enjoy the weather. This evening we have our first load in at a theatre and tomorrow we have our first two shows. Super exciting. I'll update later in the week.

Good luck to everyone in Oklahoma. Sorry about the ice. Stay safe and warm.

Hugs.